i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
