Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize