the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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