Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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