Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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