We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I feel like a drive thru vagina
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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