the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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