how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
They have beer where we have blood.
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