we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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