i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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