we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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