Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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