yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
where does the pee come out of this thing
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
