I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
