If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I have already put on my inside pants.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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