What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Couch. On fire.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
