Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
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