i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
