what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
