he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
