Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
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Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
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If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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