ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
