I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize