just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
then he tried to convert me to islam
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
