he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
