I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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