I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
