32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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