Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
