Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
