The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
