I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
