doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize