I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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