I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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