Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
