DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
