I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
We got so high we made milksteak
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
