Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize
