Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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