they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
