I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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