I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Dicks are not precious.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
