she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
