She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
The uberlube is also flammable
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
