It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
