Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
