he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
