she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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