i just wanna soil my oats bro
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
