Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
