just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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