she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
