We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
