as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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