Im at strip club and am horny
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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